A New Day

“To die to ourselves, is to surrender all we are to the one who made the greatest sacrifice… so that we don’t have to!” – Me

See God sending his only son to die a brutal death for people he never met isn’t some twisted fairy tale bible thumpers tell to feel good about themselves. In fact, the more I hear the story, the worse I feel. The more confused I feel. How could ANYONE love someone like me so much… to endure something so horrific so that one day, I may have ever lasting life? KNOWING that I may turn away all together?! Talk about a gamble. 

But that is the beauty of the resurrection! DEATH ITSELF couldn’t hold him, couldn’t stop the act of PURE LOVE from coming to fruition. There has been a war going ever since. In my 28 short years… that seem like an eternity… I am but a blip on the radar of time. That blip, was worth the price of admission to heaven… paid by my King. YOU are worth the price that was paid. You have been lied to your entire life … wearing the stripes, the burdens, that lashes of the enemy that have struck you down again and again. My skin is engraved with tags like: Violent. Cruel. Evil. Druggie. Thief. Hateful. Abused. Worthless. Unlovable. Useless. Hated. Disgusting. For a long time, I believed them. The longer I believed them, the deeper they went. They started engraving themselves on my heart. That’s when the real war started, and here’s why! 

There was already someone living there! I invited him in when I was a child, to come live in my heart. So when the lies of the enemy tried to mark a territory that was already taken… woo, it was on! A war was waged for my soul, for my heart, for my life all those years ago, and has been going on ever since. It will continue to go on until he calls me home! Every step I take closer to my God, the harder the devil tries to break me down. He tries to add new letters as he sees his old marks fall off me and be replaced with words like: Father. Caregiver. Loving. Kind. Gentle. Teddy bear. But the one that scares him the most is the one that I wear with the most pride… although it took me a LONG time to see it. MAN. OF. GOD. 

I am not perfect, I am still learning what it is to fill those titles, I will fall I will struggle, I WILL FAIL, but I will NEVER stop walking that longgggg road with my Savior going before me, walking beside me, following behind me. There is NOTHING I cannot do through Christ who strengthens me. I would still be a broken down fool, fighting his way through the ranks of a world that would no sooner cast him into the fire at the first signs of trouble, than to build me up like my Father in heaven does every day. 

Its not easy, there is no special algorithm in life to get to through the gate. It takes effort, trust and above all, faith. Seems like a lot to ask eh? Go reread the top about the price that was paid… not such a big ask anymore is it? You may not agree with me, and that is okay! I have NOTHING against you. This is the path that I have chosen to walk, and you have to walk your own. I wont hate you, or stop caring about you, or cast you aside. MY job is to love like my Jesus loves me, so that’s what I will try to do!